Grief following the death of a loved one

My neice died some time ago. And my partner and I experienced the loss of a womb child, a great possibility, an incredible committment which called forth something beatufiul of the Father in me. My partner and I read this together. But it was my neice’s death that this book helped me with. Because there is a kind of unwell which is possible in greif which may not be without a great and unexpected loss. Many times I quetioned what could I have done, if I’d invited her to come stay with us would this have happened, if I’d been there for her now instead of waiting would she still be alive. Making it about myself and yet it is very much about myself because it is my eperience of loss. I looked at who I think I am and how I think things are and threw them both out. At the same time, I know everything that happened, including these, was suppossed to happen exactly the way that it happened simply because it happened. And so it could have happened in no other way.